With its sensuous, total body expression, much of woman to woman ("w/w") sexuality might be labeled tantricor contemplative sex. In w/w lovemaking, the assumed roles are easily interchangeable. Orgasm isn't always the goal. The experience is one of being totally connected, awake, and alive in this state of vibrant, loving, erotic energy.
W/w sacred sexuality is one step on a long journey of unfolding the Sacred in women's lives. Erotic love between women can be a celebration of, and an initiation into the female creative spirit, the feminine mysteries. Female lovers hold the form of feminine power at its most profound. With each act of loving they can embrace a deep inner space and explore the possibility of returning to their original perfection. W/w sacred sexual love has the potential to awaken and reunite a woman with her divine source being. Whether or not she has a sexual partner or not, depends on many factors, including her particular circumstance, karma and purpose in life. Sex is sex. It is not the partner's gender that makes sex sacred. It is the consciousness that women bring to their sexual acts that makes them sacred, whether they are making love to themselves or with a partner. W/w love is sacred when it is visionary, interconnected and transformational. Through the power of love women come to know themselves as both mothers (creators of their lives) and as daughters (caretakers of the Earth). Women's lives and work can become expressions of this wisdom and power.
Rarely do books, from translations of ancient texts to modern sex manuals, speak of sex between same-sex partners as sacred. Whether referring to Hindu tantric practices or Chinese sexual yoga, most of the techniques described are directed toward heterosexual couples. Women are told that the man holds the yang and the woman the yin, and through their sexual union, the energy is balanced. Yet each, woman or man, contains both yin and the yang energy. These are the rivers of life that spiral upward through the spine. It is not necessary to have sexual union with the opposite sex to balance us. The wholeness that is spoken of in all spiritual traditions is the openness of the heart. It is finding the balance of sacred life energy within each human being. For this balance to be possible we must first love and accept ourselves. In finding this balance we move beyond our personal boundaries to a communion with all life.
Females often have an easier time than men in recognizing the connection between their bodies, the body of the planet and the body of the universe. A woman's moon cycles give her the most direct experience of the ebb and flow of life. Women have more freedom in changing roles and experiencing a wider range of behavior and feelings. A women's lovemaking is not focused on one single act, instead her sexuality can be sacred, playful, lustful, serious, humorous, joyful, tender, angry, or anxious. Female sexual communion becomes tantric when it serves as initiation to the "body" of the universe. Sexual acts become acts of worship when each partner experiences herself and the other as Goddess/Divine.
The purpose of this exercise is a loving, sensuous exchange of energy. It is not necessary to do the exercise in a seated position. Nor is it necessary to physically gaze into each other's eyes. Please feel free to adapt this exercise to physical abilities and desires. For example the lovers could be lying side by side mentally envisioning the energy exchange.
- Sit naked, back to back. Take time to ground yourself by breathing deeply. You may want to imagine the base of your spine like a giant root extending deep into the heart of the Earth. Imagine breathing energy from the earth up along your spine. When you feel grounded, allow that image to dissolve and without losing your grounding become sensitive to the sensation of your back touching your lover's back.
- Lover "one" imagines breathing the energy drawn from the base of her lover's spine up along her own spine and exhales the energy out the top of her crown chakra. She continues breathing in this manner.
- Lover "two" imagines receiving her partner's energy through her crown chakra like a waterfall, and allows the energy to descend down her spine. She exhales the energy through the base of her spine. She continues breathing in this manner.
- The lovers continue to sit back to back breathing the energy from one to the other and feeling the circle of energy. Now the lovers may want to imagine sending colors through their spines. Continue to breathe colors and be aware of the sensations and feelings that arise during this exercise.
- Without losing the sense of this circle of energy, the lovers slowly turn to face one another. With eyes open and soft, continue to sense one another's energy. It is not necessary to try to maintain the visualization. Simply be aware of your breath and keep your eyes focused on your lover's eyes. Be open to any feelings, emotional or sexual, that arise. Keep softening and opening to the gaze of your lover. Allow yourself to see and to be seen. Be sensitive to any energy changes. You may want to increase contact with touching, kissing, and lovemaking. Move slowly and keep eye contact as much as possible. You may choose to complete the exercise without increased contact. Slowly move apart from each other, while maintaining eye contact. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and imagine your roots deep into the Earth. When you are ready, open your eyes.
Lovemaking as Worship
You may have experiences in lovemaking where you will lose all sense of yourself or your lover. Your lover becomes a Goddess or the Buddha Tara, and you her devotee. Your love for her is the ultimate act of surrender, of opening into the universe. You reach out to the world. You come naked with the dearest thing you have to offer, your body, yourself, and you offer it to your beloved. In this union you are united not with yourself alone but with the body of the universe. Lovemaking becomes an act of worship.
You can play with your breath during lovemaking. Breathe slow and steadily, resisting your body's urge to quicken. The slow, steady, deep breathing coupled with intense and pleasurable sensations creates a tremendous expansion. You will become open to vast reservoirs of energy within yourself and your lover. The transformation of energy is tangible. You will open up into the universe and there is no gap or separation between yourself and the universe. It is one seamless, shimmering net of life. It is sacred space.
* The preceding text is based on the writings of Diane Mariechild of Oakland, California (Wingbow Press 1995)